morning i wish they would last

morning. awake. not enough time. i am struggling for details like i don't know how to set up my computer . run programs. i want my house to be set . i want to have days that don't exist . where i can clean the whole space . and grow plants , and make tea. and feel clear . and not know that i have to go i the outside world to work for 8 hours. the come back and sleep. and tomorrow is my day off.... but i have so much to do . i need to create myself a kitchen spae . i need to swim. i need more fruits, and energy . the kind you get from the ocean ... i need love . i need to cry .. i need someone to hold me .... i havnt cried lately ... we need that .. i have something like a strong know in my throat i don't realize it . but i don't feel good . and no one knows. i am real real good at going outside in the days . and doing all i have to do . but i need the tears to let go. i need someone to say i love you margo. i guess i am a cancer, it;s apparently the full moon coming soon .. my birthday ,. coming soon. i want someone to take me . outside. i need more air then the fish. i need to breath under water ..

that's it i am crying now. it feels better . i guess . but i have to run away . to work.

i dream my mother would wish me sweet dreams. in whispers. and more music. melancholic.
sad drippings like crystal fall on my skin when it rains i don't hide . i let it be.
i follow my own destiny .....

i am off writing . not because i want too . because i have to go to work ....