stay home.

good god.. another party i am gonna miss, but i should not care , i wanna go, run the door and ride there even if it's already two in the morning, hello, it's not worth it .. stay .. sleep alone with your friendly ghost . trust them so far they have been great company ... no nightmares. and i am way too stubborn to go out without face paint, i don't like cheap costumes, fuck i wish i had movie watching facility cuz that would facilitate my life alright. it's the only way i can get off thinking about my life. and on top of it i am picky as hell. calmdown, see you are even getting too awake, learn to listen to your body's whispers of ''hey i am tired'' sleep still. you have more to come. nights out on monday , tuesday and so be it .... there is someone you wanna see on monday ... because lord knows how many strange people i met lately, not that they were freaks , i am the freaks, they were just not the type of people i usually meet or get along with ... whoknows i have been an accessible social butter-fucking-fly. for a difference. but the coming back home, and re-runs of my nights have been the strange part, thinking of what i want , because i have an idea really ,and thinking of what happens. a river runs in between these two. so stay aware. but i don't feel like i need any awareness alone home. not much can happen to me . that's why we all go out, to see what will happen. but tonight i'll never know what could have possibly happen to me ... o well. something happn to somebody else. i wish i could know which one of my friends are home alone right now, comfortable, istening to music, i could play magick and appear at their side with the little bit of wine i have left. and perhaps we could fall asleep in each other's arms.. it's been too long since that happen to me ... even my pillows are no more fun to cuddle with .... o sweet romance have you forsaken me... i tought i knew how to pray. praise for you . but maybe i am getting stronger in the cold , getting ready like the wild wolf awaiting frozen days ....

i am truly getting obsess with wolf..... i have to stop writing before i start to make less and less sense