Praise for no one else but you ..

Chere Lucie .
i fever any of my dear readers read this one, they might wonder am i drunken or what to spell your name like this. en anglais j'ai appelee mon amour de chien Lucy, mais ton nom restera toujours le meme , celui que je prefere. .L.u.c.i.e. and those eyes i close mine now and i try to remember , in my head, only pictures i know as relate.. i am 8 minutes exactly away from where i grew up, from where you raised me , for un temps qui est passe a l'oublie. and tonight , i am about to make a pause in this letter, to go outside and look up the moon, the stars i am sure i might see more here then i ever do in Montreal.. and then i might dream of your eyes, and my dreams i want them to become true. for the new year to come, for the many ones you deserve to see me breathing completely, inhale, exhale, .deeply. and it's funny i had this song i liked so much and the girls around me use to laugh when i would play it sometimes. Lady in red, and i just played it for you, i remember you liked the color red so much, this card they made of you after you left and gave it to everyone, you were always on their mind and fuck you were smiling like crazy . 33 years old, and so much honesty in that smile. red. the color of passion they say. the color of my heart tonight, no more black. i wrote enough for this ocean black and i wanted to go, where no one know . in there. for a love i wanted a second chance to prove that i could change and be better. but it takes times. and i am the one who played it right to my own words of steal. solid. Passion needs patience. and i was patient enough to finally reach this point . now .. in the now. i am present. and alive. and my heart is still beating. the color of my love tonight turns red for you . and me. together. o fool human species who heard i was hiding like a wolf hunting lazy, i am lucky your best friend drove me here with some food, and a blanklet to keep me warm. she is the best example of loyalty, you asked her to care for me. no matter what and she did. .. and tomorrow i will tell her in french how much i care forever. a jamais..
i will take it slow, my pause, footstep in the snow, tracing to go. no more vertigo. for the new years i will go through my biggest fears, to let go of what i use to hold on to, when i felt like there was no love. i will pray for no god, but you.
gave me this life and i will not let it go so easily. i don't care no more, fearless to the fact that it will never be easy.. and i know like crystal clear that it was never easy for you to love me watching me hurt myself so fiercely.
you are beyond strenght, you are beauty in the skies even when they are grey you make them shine like silver lake. upside down. there is no need of reality. i am your only angel and even dress in velvet black , i still find a way to shine into the nights.

this letter i snot over, only i am the eye of a voyeur in 18;images seconds the new measure of my life. et pour vous ce soir je ne laisse que des mots. le film qu'est ma vie. s'apprette a continuer. dehors. je sort ce soir. decembre est rouge.

mes mains sur mon coeur j'ai promis un amour plus grand que l'ocean. pour toi seule. je marche seule sous ton regard precis.

finale to let go, and start acting on my 8th life.

so, december close to an end. i`m getting ready for a new year . inspire les vents de glace en mon corps. je suis enferme dans un chalet tout pres de la ou jai grandit.
outaouais, alone with a gentle dog looking at me when i go out an dmove in silences like the wolf in me i feed myself an elixir raw, many words from the past retranscrit pour une nouvelle air a venir. dens quelques temps i will be back in the city after x-mas to rebuild my blog, and also to re-connect with what i believe in, an dthe people that believe in me. in beauty or pain.. my love endures and the hope i carry under skin has definitely not faded away. it might be winter, i still keep my tone in warm warm colors..

i love the fact that just now i ma the only one who creates cette chaleur de survie.
i run around an dthe snow keep falling, to find wood and slice it sweet so it fits in the stove.

i send my dreams in nature around me. so they come back in multiples form of arts reflecting heart a mon retour in the city, i`ll still be a gentle wolf, en attaque subtile pour une elegante annee.. a venir. . . i played my cards already . here there is no one but me and the angels of light only you can see when the night is dark.