old texture laid left on the screen .

night . o it is perfect . because i will never say it enough . why o night, o it is perfect... why o why . probably because i had have enough . of moving arround going to see people . not that i don't like you people but you know i feel like i do good by myself . o yes like you could never beleive it . have i told you soon i'll be turning 25 years old and i have been all over the place . now i needed my own place . my eyes are fed , last years and more from eating garbage to feeding you, and i of fine cuisine. ,your eyes ate it all. like vorace , i AM an animal and i love it that way . i follow my instinct , about an hour ago they were hungry so all i had to do was appear like a perfect guest at my friend didi she lives underneath me and it is wonderful that way . we would kill each other with too much talking . it's increedible how crazy people like us can talk talk talk in public and alone there is nothing left to say . and we like it that way .. but see... let me tell you something . people's career, people's interest . alone you read, watch t.v. or sew , do the laundry . .

i talk ... still .. in perfect silences . with the music i adore ... even in silences when i could be doing so many other things .. all i wanna do is write ... like an eternal conversation . fragmented words that never stops .. and i do not see the point of shutting up . more times when i go out to the parties. la fete. it happens in my head. i 'd rather sip out to the bottle of wine every night like if it tastes nostalgia . because it entertains me more and more to write or just smoking cigarettes after cigarettes but really i am that healthy ... i just holds them ... they look fancy on my , in between my fingers. all over the paper we use to dance , i have eternal strenght in my fingers . i want to get a lover... in my life.... maybe i'lll finally get busy and appears too this whole wide world like a settle down type of woman, a fine job, still i am an artist , i have a bike, a computer , a cell phone, and a HOME ...


but ii am disturbed by my own melancholy , i am a dreamer. can you hear me .

i am THE DREAMER . my friend tom is the relayer , sometimes i feel like being the lover . but as for now i will be left in total .. all i wanna be is a dreamer . so let me dream the fuck alone .

so .. later .. tonight .. ashley is in the house . perfect . i feel like she will get herself cosy . . and having a bed ....

the wind is perfect , i have my own balcony and i am in love with it .... i have the fresh wind that caress my skin . i can write and give tom a break of house guest , now i can host the freaky lovely people in my house and it is hell o f a pleasure . to be surroundede . with rad and ashley in the kitchen , i grabbed an x-tra futon for her . and i have my room .. soon . it will be colored by my own history , i want to be able to invite julia for breakfast . . i wanna be able to invite who the fuck i feel like . and make them feel confortable . in walking inside my bubble ...

night time . sexy sounds of the dogs on my beds playing like lovers trying to unravelled each other . but i am guilty or more like a pervert eye that always stays open i d not feel like going to sleep . why would i . when i can stay awake t'll my hands they hurt . i am listening to this old cd of that movie basketball diaries.. i wanna read more of jim carrols's diary .

he was hell of a junky and lived up to his own private and final fantasy .

and my name is margo .. so am i . living to the core of my fantasy . and so be it . that is all i had to say . tomorrow i have to attend a job meeting . be a part of it . . completely .

now what .. words for the girl i wanna meet , one day . maybe, we will be going away run away . in a car i will have learn to drive by then. hopefully . then we go away in perfect shadows.


will you let me ring the bell . will i be trying to figure it out . i cannot tell myself to quit . what i started a long time ago . a long time ago . . when i was a little boy , i was born to be a broken dame , and a silver boy , the kind of boy who walks steady right up to the altar. where i would like to lay my dreams .... the SERPENTS will drop in circles around our heads and they will draw circles and circles of silver lights just enough so i can see the lights coming down . the lights coming down . swings like a blade , swings that blade all over me . show me how close you can get . how bad we can get .. let's be electric . together . let's be electric in an order all together . set myself on fire, and i will never let anyone burn the feather that wrapped all over yours , all over you . i wanna wrapped my hands and feather all over you .. so no one can touch ... or even think of hurting you . no one will ever try to hurt you my love. but . we have not. met yet
.


this is always the words of the end ... i have not met you yet . .. ..

night is gonna fall .. not yet .. soon . we are july 3 rd .. i woke up in style ... which means i had a shower then some weird new herbal tea . and scotch whyskey ... and i am writting ... smoking .... good god it feels healthy . my way ... and nothing else matters .... i don't even need to run away from the house that doesn't belong to me ... i have friends a little bit all over this city . some of them are away, some of them are closer, but they know. i think we all know we love each others. and life will go on .

now further in july .. looks like i am going crazy ... la solitude.... with one of my friend, , o c'est vrai du fait on ne rit plus... love and laughter commme dirait henry miller. i 'd rather be fuck out of my head with real girls... the one that drives me crazy .. i truly don't mind crazy lovers ..... i want affection, love .. more love ... and i'll give it all i have to give ...
( notes from the now... it does not work that way .. at all .. it's crazy re reading old stuff you wrote .. then you ralize how quick you have change , how 3 months ago is far .. away it'll go )
someone to break my body ....seriously .. someone to get me out of my mind....

dans la plus douce de ces nuits je reste un plus ..... predateurs ... and i feel ready to run .. run in the deep wild .. nothing to stop me .. break my my body all night long .. somebody get hurts ... .la folie je la connais ... elle cogne dans mes plus profond reves eveillees

camarade..look at yourself, already , nothing is real , nothing to fail me over.
i wish i could get out of my body, out of my mind , out of mysef ..

i could be riding in the desert ,naked , with my silver toungue all over the body i choose to adore.

all i do is smoking cigarettes, getting stoned and i want more, i wish i could be with a lover by the sea, moonlights,and sleeping not alone, wandering stars, and for now i am alone in a room . getting , aggressive on the computer, i can't get enough of myself, i wish there was p.j.harvey loud , denis i remember, and i remember more.
i want to go travel but not alone , in which i died ...

***** that is one of the many text laid on my computer... i don't mind sharing with you, unknown .. *****