the days are no longer bright .. fall for me .. .

sisi i could be talking to the night , i could beg her to fall on me , be my lover .
and i listen to the song that always reminds me what should be my true evil spirit when i choose to pray ... and i know how ... to play .. but i will beg no one .. i want people to tell me , not only a fucking casual boring platonic story ... i want more thne that .. sorry if you cannot tell, i also like to whisper, but i am awake , certainly not because of good greens , let say i havn't visited my lucky charming friends that usually feed the tramp so good... shame on me .. instead i spend a lot of time making moves alone, and alone i truly care some , only i have serial tendencies to breathe in and only deep into my head which only respond by my heart. so the cramps in my stomach or my knee in pain are something to think of later .. if later really le mal persiste ..
but i dont live all in my self today .. i am in harmony with only my desires, and they contradict health all over thy self..
i am sitting carefully makig almost no noize into my dear old lady . but she is younger then me, in silence but i type so hard , i am molesting the keyboard really , sorry they are playing p.j.harvey .. and scotch, dear scotch-whyskey st-trinity i adore you.. but sometimes, lately you havn't been enough to me ... more... i am a starving child, hungry eyes, and mon coeur s'en est remis des fissures de son passe , certaines d'entr'elle ..

but right now let me be supersticious about the day and the next day , following le passe ..
i can feel it , love like une fiole qui depose tout doucement un poison, a perfcet drug , truth is barely there , the only kind of drop to fall on my toungue and to draw me inside like color perfect red and silver i beg it for ... but i know you will forget , maybe only a while in the distances how it felt really whe you were just there, right next there .. in the desert in the city with me ... when the skies were greens emerald and i saw winter i hate it now changing into calm and snow flakes falling slowly .... the way rough kids move when they are in caging bed, captivity by choice. only i don't really know if it so easy but i know all arround me there is shit, and more shit to crawl , try to into my life... i could definitely pay my bills or at least get nervous for real about it.. about this and that .. even about the fact that i will in more then 24 hours be in need to ask myself how truly will i feed my belly .... but that's all good i do better in nervous diet .. last year or so i lost so much so fast eating still 99 cents's montreal's finest pizza. but there was so much in my mind and no more space for the rest ...

ce soir , i get 3 words in a row, alligner tout bonnement , and i know it's not easy to say , and it's not easy to get out what for a second you hope and the ones aftre you feel it will die, it will run , it will be wrong even if you deserve it right , for once .. not less intense i would never say such things, but crazy can be smooth if given and take me... the way you want it .. i want nothing but no one of the all no other. body .. .. i want your eyes to be there just in front of me .. one more time ... you can try to blow in fear or hope because love is a sharpened feeling , but i said it before i will be the blade that don't cut ... but release comes ..
i know it does.

c'est le vide qui me fait peur. but i cannot fear for ever..
not only the past told me , not only words but enough to drive me crazy ..
patience de mise .. but it's hard to train wild species into turtle moving .. i run free..
today it felt sad but free