lettres oubliees..

for today , for tomorrow. et quoi encore. i havn't finish properly a letter lately, waiting to move back home, waiting here to be with you . and i am leaving. everything goes down my skin like water on a duck's body. waiting is not even a word anymore, craving my get the fuck away faster then ever, takes time to make up my mind but when i do , it's a situation de non retour.
and to say good bye to the lovely people i have met, but all these people i see not. you saved me from raging my last days in here. you have almost took control of my eyes so they don't get into dream fog, gone far. i stayed with you until the bells ring us over. not inside my stomach you will stay there. i don't forget easily my love .
but i am obsess with no responsibility, no rent. money into my bike and some more peices back into me. i drink the days away, pourring scotch before diner comes a matter, i eat and i drink, and i still chain smoke to the point of watching the cat coughing, well what can i do he hangs out with me compulsively. i need to get out of here , of my mind. of this place spoil, i need to be lost in the city i know, i need my reality to circles inside my stomach a little bit more. even the tought that i'll have to run again to drop cv and find a job is crazy , i wanna talk to someone and work .. that's it. i want to be riding 12o km/h with my lover towards the sea. towards a mountain. down down down ... . . and up again..
i am almost scared of your silences, i know they still means something, but i am having trouble read cuz i see black and the lights when it comes is way too bright .. i want those green skies we saw, endless. and days that goes by with my run arround in montreal where i know where to stop to have coffee. i need to see my dog because i have been a distant mother.
i want you . no gain or lost , just time. .
but i don't care anymore, i feel relax for the storms to come, it's o.k. now summer is coming the rain falls are gonna be warm enough .. warmth .