i don't need the stars...

not for tonight in fact my family est partie en cavale danser sur des sons trop electro pour mon cerveau ce soir. this comfort you reach even at a friend's house and you're careless of what ever you would miss in a party screaming , but never on top of the music at people you might as well just keep your saliva for yourself so easy to loose control and then a mouth could dry, in a second. i guess i sound selfish, maybe i am , maybe i should give my presence in heart and bones to the party . but it's a party like i have seen millions, and what i lack in my daydreams is people to get close to me, people to laugh stupidly or cry to me randomly, the message is simple , hold me. but i am a writer, alone et c'est dur de s'en faufiller. i can think it out loud, only le souvenir de mes amours decus to remind me how good it felt to release it all in your arms, like before i might have died, in memories even do i forget if it' s true i let go . St-henri, we got here in the morning, last chance for me to hear you sing ;'just call me angel of the morning'' and the day obviously to be endless, you forgot to sleep and to leave the day behind, deep under pillows. o so invincible like there is nothing waiting for you to rest, to give you a rest.

i do actually think it suits me better to play housewife, for the grown-up kids i love in St-henri, too much feelings predilection in the stars, the last time i needed them to let me know i feel home here in my heart, in my eyes.. it's lonely but it's my home . i try to welcome the ones i care to stay and to the rest of the world i say, find me cuz i have no more envy to chase you arround intensely i am a lover not some drooling predators, and i refuse to see you captive, i wish our eyes when closing late would remember in the perfect darkness the way to dance. like the way we pretend to . i will wait , cuz as much as i can predict the feeling there was left to be keeping in a second i ate it all and now i am starving. but starving persona, would rather keep her belly empty then to step on the presence of the one you know and trust. dishonesty is a friendly disease and i am a healthy created pharmaceutically kind of boy i need respect and then you could lead so i follow your steps in the sands or falling road i will see you de suite. i have not learn so carefully how to step away thinking i coul dtake it all or nothing... but nothing is pretty much empty, and you know i woul dmake my ownself grow sick rather then to feel sweet nothing.

so we stayed up all day long, and i had the tools for it. making sure to keep our farms pretty alive for at least daylight i took it my responsibility.. i remember like crystal clear the letter i wrote so fast full of everything that was suppose to be floathing still for a while, no more i have this way to lay it out raw, in details but raw. lettre a un ami que l'on voudrait serrer dans ses bras. i do . wanna hold you , but just to ask makes me scared. some would disagree like the still standing solid human made of beautiful lies, to stay cold you don't ever need someone. but i am lands away from iceland, i would lay my body naked still on mirrored ice to let you see i can melt it, make it a little warmer. but it has not been easy for me to read your eyes when your words are keeping me docile at the perfect lines, invinsible line i am brave enough to show you i would take a step your way through any rain let it fall over me. i wish i could show you all i think i know of consistance, stay solid when everybody ran away seeing the lightning coming our way, but i have nowhere to dream that feels better, i'd rather stay and if you want me close and aware, in the distance i'll stand by you . i feel it now more slowly when the feelings i grow could be un-leashed, but somehow it matters not much, i would love to fight for what i want, but i got beaten inside it's hard to tell the scars are under skins, where my emotions are the ones to fill-in. where the lost o ftrust begin, i trust you in everylight i dare you to look up. proud, but i am giving up by healing what doesn;t even hurt no more, but it makes you scared the twist inside your stomach , the pain sharp in it fills in so quick when you ge pushed in refusal. and sadly it's not even a matter of confidence, i know on what my love could become, but i keep it undone, in case someone would take it away and open my heart gently the paper silver arround is broken already but precious surrounding my identity, i'd rather keep the peices with me even breaked away. the way i feel is visible right now i see myself from the outside so i can help to create again this easy puzzle, easy because i explain it this way.

later . the music i play is nothing like you would imagine, seeing me. , but i am starving melody, and my eyes just just now are sick of melancholy, looking lost, and there is no way i could focus.. that thing they call e... . .. emotionnal . and confessions are indeed easy to get outta me, even the night has forgotten the walls arround to hide the way i look, when i taste ferocely the sweetest of my sin, my inner desires there sentence has not fallen yet. does it means i am still free.